My Quiet House Full of My Loud Thoughts

This week has been spent visiting some of my mother’s family. My grandparents stayed with us for a few days at the end of this week, so I had surrendered my bedroom, and consequentially my computer. It wasn’t that bad, but because of the heat upstairs I slept quite uncomfortably on a couch in our basement. I’m very tired, and I will fall asleep quickly tonight.
A gang of relatives left moments ago and I’m in my room reclaiming my desk. I had some opportunity to type over these past few days, but not without interruption. I truthfully don’t consider myself inconvenienced by my relatives. I enjoy a big family, and I enjoy eating and talking, but I’m learning to dislike talking about my future plans.
The temptation is to tell everyone that I want to go live with my “family” in Andhra Pradesh, and that St. John’s College (and any subsequent education) is merely a stepping-stone to that goal. But instead I gently talk about how excited I am for my first year of college and how fun my past trips to India have been. A few astute aunts made the connection and wondered if I would eventually try to return to the church in India on a more permanent basis; to them I revealed my secret scheme.
But describing my future to so many had me considering what I actually will do. I plan to be at St. John’s College for four years, achieving a B.A. in Liberal Arts. Within the time slot there I have a score of options concerning short-term returns to India, language studies across the world, internships in D.C., etc. My mother has encouraged me to look into various scholarships and awards for after my undergraduate work. She even has me excited about the Rhodes Scholarships: Does she really think I could achieve something like that? I can only dream about it! Doing post-graduate work in public policy, law, or language at Oxford would certainly fit in with my route back to India.
But ultimately, I know, I must put an end to my scheming. I will boast to say that my future is in God’s hands. He called me to St. John’s College this year initially against my will. He knows my heart’s desire to live in India, but I must seek His heart’s desire. May the Spirit of God unify my heart with His own. Until I'm there (or not), maybe it's a good thing that I don't reveal my schemes to too many relatives; in the end, the Lord has a plan to prosper me and to glorify His name, and that's truthfully what I want. That is something that I would find no annoyance in telling them over and over again.