These past few weeks I’ve found innumerable causes for complaint, whining, groaning, and even slander. “This isn’t what I wanted.” “This isn’t what I expected.” “Why is it this way and not that way?” “This doesn’t suit me.” “Can’t he try harder?” I suppose these same complaints were uttered by the Israelites all those thousands of years ago in the desert between Egypt and Canaan. And those were the ones who didn’t take hold of the promise when they had the chance. It began with, “Why, God, would You do this? This isn’t what we were expecting,” and eventually became, “How, God, is this possible? I don’t think You even can do this.” They moved from despising what they had to despising what God was promising for the future. And last night, thank God, the Spirit warned me of this.
There have been too many little things that I’ve complained about over the past three weeks. This person’s behavior, that tutor’s manner, this author, that task—there was no end to my grumbling. And I, a man who believes that the joy of the Lord really is a cause of strength and enables me to endure (ref. Nehemiah 8:10, Hebrews 12:2), wondered why I was so tired and why I did not feel that familiar fervor of joy within me stirred by the Holy Spirit. Even if the Spirit proffers joy at any moment, no one who despises the moment will receive it. Even though God proffered Canaan to the children of Israel in the desert, they would not go for it. In a way, though, my situation wasn’t analogous to theirs; it’s not fear that is keeping me from the blessing but pride. I thought that I deserved more in my work, that I shouldn’t need to deal with these certain people, and that I was entitled to what had beforehand been so pleasant. To say that it is a thankless situation is a double entendre; thankless because the person is blinded to what blessings he does have and cannot enjoy them, and thankless because the person is utterly ungrateful for everything that happens, even if things to take a turn for “the better.” If I’m always focused on having what’s better and despising what I have, then how can I ever actually have the better things? As soon as I have it, it becomes the worse. Being discontented is the least of the problems that results from this destructive, thankless attitude.
What can I do when the Spirit convicts me of such a crime against God, and even against myself? My first reaction was to say to myself, “I need to stop complaining.” A good first step, but that’s not what the Spirit was moving me toward. That’s treating one of the symptoms and not the spiritual pathogen. He pushed me to consider thanklessness and thankfulness. And I am undone.
I have found in myself no love, no joy, no peace, no patience, no kindness, no goodness, no faithfulness, no gentleness, and no self-control apart from thankfulness to God. Paul ecstatically wrote,
In the front of my prayer notepad, which is sadly underused these days, there are three verses that focus on devotion to prayer (ref. I Thessalonians 5:16-28, Ephesians 6:18, Colossians 4:2), all of which also exhorting me to have an attitude of thanksgiving. I look at this not as a command to be followed to receive some treat, but as a most essential part of worship. And to think that it has been missing from my heart and mind and lips these days! I want to return to thankfulness.
This morning I wrote a quick list while at work of things that I’m thankful for:
There have been too many little things that I’ve complained about over the past three weeks. This person’s behavior, that tutor’s manner, this author, that task—there was no end to my grumbling. And I, a man who believes that the joy of the Lord really is a cause of strength and enables me to endure (ref. Nehemiah 8:10, Hebrews 12:2), wondered why I was so tired and why I did not feel that familiar fervor of joy within me stirred by the Holy Spirit. Even if the Spirit proffers joy at any moment, no one who despises the moment will receive it. Even though God proffered Canaan to the children of Israel in the desert, they would not go for it. In a way, though, my situation wasn’t analogous to theirs; it’s not fear that is keeping me from the blessing but pride. I thought that I deserved more in my work, that I shouldn’t need to deal with these certain people, and that I was entitled to what had beforehand been so pleasant. To say that it is a thankless situation is a double entendre; thankless because the person is blinded to what blessings he does have and cannot enjoy them, and thankless because the person is utterly ungrateful for everything that happens, even if things to take a turn for “the better.” If I’m always focused on having what’s better and despising what I have, then how can I ever actually have the better things? As soon as I have it, it becomes the worse. Being discontented is the least of the problems that results from this destructive, thankless attitude.
What can I do when the Spirit convicts me of such a crime against God, and even against myself? My first reaction was to say to myself, “I need to stop complaining.” A good first step, but that’s not what the Spirit was moving me toward. That’s treating one of the symptoms and not the spiritual pathogen. He pushed me to consider thanklessness and thankfulness. And I am undone.
I have found in myself no love, no joy, no peace, no patience, no kindness, no goodness, no faithfulness, no gentleness, and no self-control apart from thankfulness to God. Paul ecstatically wrote,
We have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in Light. Colossians 1:9-12
In the front of my prayer notepad, which is sadly underused these days, there are three verses that focus on devotion to prayer (ref. I Thessalonians 5:16-28, Ephesians 6:18, Colossians 4:2), all of which also exhorting me to have an attitude of thanksgiving. I look at this not as a command to be followed to receive some treat, but as a most essential part of worship. And to think that it has been missing from my heart and mind and lips these days! I want to return to thankfulness.
This morning I wrote a quick list while at work of things that I’m thankful for:
- My education and the financial aid along with it
- My dorm and beloved friends
- My job and the money God has given me
- My computer
- My parents
- This opportunity to praise God
O come, let us sing for joy to the LORD,
Let us shout joyfully to the rock of our salvation.
Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving,
Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms.
For the LORD is a great God
And a great King above all gods. Psalm 95:1-3
5 comments:
And how does that Audio A song go...I fall down, he lifts me up, I fall down, he lifts me up......
I think it is called Grace. I need it too.
NJTS
Likewise, take care not to despise the man you are today because you aspire to greater things...
My dad always says that gratitude is the root of humility, and I've found it to be true. Even if nothing actually changes but our attitude to what we're facing, life will be so much better. :)
That was me right before, by the way. Only the little "other" option wasn't working.
I think 'double entendre' does not convey the meaning you want it to... a different word might work better!
btw, what is gratitude?
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